It's all about the journey

2010-10-04T19:47:00.001-05:00

Benjamin Family

2010-09-21T20:04:00.003-05:00

The family took a little family vacation back in the beginning of August. We haven't done anything like this since I was 11 years old. I guess you could say a lot has changed since then. Here are a few shots of the family.

Last full day

2009-06-22T03:21:00.000-05:00

This morning we planned on going out to the building site to help work on some of houses that are being built for some of the families in the garbage dump. Although the families currently live in the dump, the houses are about a couple miles from the actual dump site. Frontline learned that the jealousy becomes too great if they begin to help one family and not all of them. Although their goal is to help them all, it is quite the process and so the way to begin taking steps is by moving families to a safer place and then building their new home in that area. CCC's generosity weekend supplied the money needed to make the homes possible. As we drove out to the site, we ran into some transportation issues. The truck that we had been driving overheated and we were stranded by the side of the road. By the time things got repaired the things that they were going to have us do wasn't possible. Instead, we just went by so that we could see the site, pray over it, take some pictures and then take off. I was looking forward to being able to build but at the same time, with the strong heat today and the number of students having some stomach issues I imagine it would have been a rough day. Maybe it was for the better that we couldn't do it.

Tonight starts an evening of blubber fest. Although I am ready to go home and feel like getting on the plane is something I am looking forward to, the students are the opposite. It isn't that I don't like it here, it is just that I am ready to get back home.

The students on the other hand are a mess. Tears have already started to roll. Some would like to burn their passports and others would do anything to spend the rest of their life here. They already looked on-line at the cost of plane tickets for winter break. It reminds me so much of the first time I went to Piedras Negras, Mexico. I was 14 years old and it was my first mission trip. Similar to the students on our team, I spent countless hours with the kids from the community. I thought they were the best friends in the world. They LOVED having us around and they were so sad to see us go. I sobbed like a baby when I had to say goodbye the first time. I remember getting home and starting to make plans immediately for my return trip to Proyecto Amistad.

I am sitting in the girls room writing this blog and listening to the girls talking about leaving. Tears are rolling, and they are talking about how hard tonight is going to be. They are comparing letters that they have written to each of the kids, and they are trying to figure out what the students might write back. In a way I feel bad for them but on the other hand, I really am just thankful that they had such a great experience here.

Over the next couple of days, Tim and I are going to meet with each student one-on-one for a recap of the trip. It is our goal to encourage them in some of the things we have witnessed about each of them personally and then also challenge them about what is next. Based on what the students learned we are going to challenge them to figure out what it looks like once they get home. Hopefully that is our way of holding our students accountable to really making this trip be something that drives them to live out their faith. I am hoping we will hear students who want to go home and serve in their schools, in the community and be a little braver when it comes to sharing their faith. If our students walk away with that desire, I believe we are really going accomplish something big. Tim believes and made a personal mission statement that says "students are the most powerful force in the planet." If we bring back students that are filled with a passion to serve, they are going to be dangerous! I am pretty excited to see that!

Thunder is beginning to roll in (that means it might cool off!). I imagine if I don't publish this entry soon I will loose the touchy Internet connection. Tomorrow we catch a 5 hour flight to Tokyo and then have a 21 hour lay-over. I am hoping we get out for at least a couple hour bus tour but rumor has it Tokyo isn't the friendliest place to visit and everything is really expensive. I am really hoping for some time to at least say I saw the city but we won't really know until we get there. After the long layover it is 13 more hours on the plane and then we touch down in Chicago. (Ironically, we touch down in Chicago the exact same time we left Tokyo... we will be traveling through a time capsule) It's been a good trip but I am ready to touch down in Chicago... sweet home Chicago.

An afternoon of fellowship

2009-06-22T02:08:00.003-05:00

Yesterday afternoon we spent the time hanging out with the Frontline staff and families. I think what we were apart of was the Frontline version of leadership community. The afternoon was spent playing volleyball, basketball, a water balloon fight, and some time of sharing and worship. It really was a good time. During the sharing time, Frontline asked us all to get up and share a little bit about our experiences that we have had. I am not sure I have it all processed yet. I am not sure what to make out of the this trip but I do know that I am a huge believer in how this organization works and the things that they do. There is something about mission trips that have a way of humbling the spirit. Coming into the trip I was really tired. It had been such long school year. Between going through Nat'l boards, teaching full time, random school committees/commitments, and working at the church, I was tired and beat. There were so many obstacles to overcome to even get here. There were days, I didn't even know as I wanted to come. To be honest, I just felt like I had nothing left to give and I wasn't excited about putting on a mask and pretending like I did. I just wanted to crawl into a hole for a bit and just enjoy not having to do ANYTHING. I think what I needed to figure out is how to prioritize life a little bit. I need to begin asking myself where my passion really is and then just go after that. I can't go through another year where I allow myself to say yes to so many things.

Jeff Pesina challenged our group and the frontline staff a bit. He asked us a few questions about what we believed and he pushed on to ask, if we truly believe that stuff, why wouldn't we be willing to do some crazy and unexplainable things for God. Why would we let finances, money, and fear hold us back from anything. Why would we let insecurity talk louder than what other people say or believe. I don't know what to make of it all but it made my wheels spin a bit.

Happy Father's Day

2009-06-21T01:53:00.000-05:00

Sunday in church Frontline did a special service for father's. Although it was a really nice service, it made me really miss my Dad. I think the icing on the cake is when they made all the Dad's stand up and the mic was passed along to the kids as they sang the song "Hero" by Mariah Carey. I am blessed to have a Dad that I have such a good relationship with.

This trip pulls at the heartstrings a little bit. I have met so many kids that have parents that had kicked them out, abused them, or just let them run off to defend for themselves. I know that I was cared for in so many ways both growing up and now. Mom and Dad, I really appreciate all that you have done for me in my life. Thanks for all the support and encouragement you have given me. Thank you for protecting me, providing for me, and for helping me become the woman I am today.

A day at the green box and then back to the streets

2009-06-20T19:09:00.003-05:00

Yesterday we headed back to the green box for some time to hang out with the church out there. We walked around the community to pay some house visits to some of the people that had been attending the crusades for the past couple of nights. If I am honest, I hate doing house visits. It would be cool if I could speak the language or if we had some really good translators but instead we just go there smile and let them stare at us as the Filippino's do all the speaking. Who knows what they say, I just pretend like I understand. At one point we were sitting on the porch of a woman who was sharing some of her story. I was bored because I understood nothing and so my eyes began wondering around the porch. I spotted this huge brown, hairy 8 legged creature that was making it's way towards me on the porch. One of the little kids saw that I had spotted it and decided it would be funny to try and scare the spider in my direction. This beast of a creature started sprinting towards me. I screamed like a little school girl and ran the other direction. Nothing like being the American that can't handle a spider but this thing was so much more than a daddy long leg. It had hair and it had a body that was as big as a golf ball. With legs and all it was bigger than my hand. Eventually the kids killed the thing but then they found it to be funny to run over to us with the legs that they pulled off of the body. The legs continued to move and twitch.

Later that afternoon there was a concert back at the blue box. Our students were able to perform and once again did a fantastic job. The team from frontline has some incredible talent and between their dancing, the band, and their singers, the concert was a huge success.

After the concert we decided to hit the streets of San Pablo once again. This time we had 6 adults and took our 7 oldest students so they could experience some of the life of living on the street. Although the risk was big, I think we thought that it was important for our students to get the full perspective of what FTC (the refuge orphanage) is really doing. It was a good night on the street. We did not get out there until around 9 so most of the kids were already asleep on the sidewalks and in some of the bushes along the streets. We woke them up and offered to get them food. Before the night was done, we had about 30 street kids with us. Some of the kids were the same as the night before but some of them were different. We ran across two of the students who used to live at FTC but have recently run away. Not sure if they will go back but needless to say, I am sure that it made an impact to see them. One kid, Sunny, was curled up on the steps when we came across him. He ran away from FTC a little while ago but left his sister "Bam Bam" (not her real name but what she goes by) at the camp. He took a long time to wake up but when he finally did, it was incredible to see him recognize some of the students who have come here before. We was cool and has the best smile. We bought the kids Shopow and then took them to a bakery where we were able to by bread for them all. (It was about 12am so all the other restaurants were closed by then) For 6 dollars US money, we bought 6 grocery bags full of bread. It was almost like a Mary Poppins bag the way the bread didn't stop flowing out. We had so much bread left over that when we left the kids, they took a couple bags to share with their friends that we didn't find. Before we served the kids the meal, we broke down into small groups. We asked the kids their story and a little bit about what it was like to live on the street. Most of the stories were similar. Some of them sent to live on the streets to beg and were not allowed home until they had money, others were abused physically and sexually and didn't want to be home, some didn't like having to work at home so they left to be with friends, others were left alone because their parents took off. When we asked them if they didn't want to be on the streets anymore most of them didn't want their lives to be different. They didn't want help. One of the kids told us about a guy that was coming around and taking kids. They were scared to trust a lot of people. The way that FTC works now is that if a child wants to come into the camp, they have to go through a government organization to get approval to take them. They used to be able to just bring kids in but now the process is a little tougher. I suppose it is a good thing. After watching the movie "Slumdog Millionaire" I think I would be nervous if any random person could take kids.

Overall the street experience was good. It was a little different than the night before for me personally because I felt like I had to wear my "leader/protector" hat. Instead of just letting myself just engage in the streetkids, I had to be real intentional about surroundings and and be looking first for the safety and protection of our students. If I am honest, I didn't like that role. I wanted to jump in and surround myself with giving 100% attention to the kids but I knew I couldn't. I am thankful for the night I got out into the streets with just the leaders to allow me to really dive in and just immerse myself in the moment.

So much to share.

2009-06-19T10:57:00.003-05:00

There is so much that I need to catch you up on. It has been a roller coaster couple of days but there has been some crazy things happening. I will take you day by day.

Thursday-
We spent the day at the garbage dump. Yesterday we had a ton of rain and so with all the standing puddles of water there were flies everywhere. Although I look at the homes there with a different set of eyes after my Manila experience, it still makes me sick to my stomach to be there with that smell, the thousands of flies, and then seeing them bathe, wash clothes, drink and relieve themselves in the same creek of water that sits beneath the pile of garbage. Although it was nice to pass out clothing donations to the family today, I wasn't really feeling like we were doing a whole lot. We went from house to house and each family member got a t-shirt. The t-shirts were old StuCo t-shirts that we had from past events. I think in my mind, and maybe I am wrong, but going to a house with 3 suitcases full of shirts and giving each member only one shirt was an extremely odd feeling to me. I would have much rather given all of the stuff to the pastor from the dump and let him hand them out. I have done a lot of missions stuff before and I think the thing I believe in the most is whenever handouts are given, they should be given from the local church. I don't want to ever distort viewpoints or embellish the idea of the "rich American." We did have the pastor with us, which was great, but because our gift seemed so small, I almost just wanted to give him all of them and just allow him to pass them out without 20 people standing around getting pictures of us handing over our gift. It was 100% genuine but it just sat a little weird for me. Either way, it is good for our students to be apart of giving stuff away. After the clothing handout, we went over to the dump site school and put on a concert for the students. Once again, I was super proud of our students that we brought. They were so good. We set up an amp, drums, electric guitar and few microphones and aside from the singers swallowing a few flies while they sang, all went perfect. At the end of the concert, I had the opportunity to call up the teachers and thank them for the way that they are pouring into the students lives. I got to encourage them as a fellow teacher and then we presented the school with a bunch of school supplies, toothbrushes and toothpaste. We also gave the school a set of baseball bases, a baseball bat and a 16'' softball. After all, every school needs a good softball program :-) Thursday evening I had one of the most nerve wrecking experiences I have had since I have been here. Part of what frontline does is put together tent crusades. These crusades draw hundreds of people and allow them to share the gospel with them. I may show my cards a little too much by writing this but I HATED it. I am not a bullhorn Christian, and if I am honest, I never will be. I don't like the idea of scaring people into a relationship with Christ. It isn't my style nor do I ever want it to be. At the same time, what they are doing out here seems to work. I believe that some people are great at that stuff, and some poeple need that type of outreach in order to encounter God. After all, if it hadn't been for tent crusades, nothing within frontline ministries would have been started. At the same time I am glad we don't do those type of things back home. Anyway, they asked Tim (the other youth pastor) and myself to speak at the event. In reality, I could have said no and it would have been fine but I knew that I needed to stretch myself and share a little. The worst part was that the translators weren't the greatest at English. Basically, I am not sure if what I really said was communicated to the crowd but I guess God will use whatever came across. There was one part of the translation that stirred quite the laughter. I was trying to relate part of my story to the crowd. I said, "if you, like me, came here tonight...." Instead, the translator relayed the idea of "if you like me...." The comma between the you and the like was crucial in that statement. There was a lot of laughter and it wasn't until later that night that it was explained to me what happened. After the testimony, they showed this AWFUL video that presented the gospel. I didn't like it at all. Although I was nice and tried not to laugh too hard, it was a little too much for me when they showed the people screaming and melting as they were surrounded by the flames of hell. I don't want to judge because I believe 100% in what frontline is doing, but it wasn't my cup of tea as far as movies go- not a big fan at the scare tactic. I felt bad for Tim who had to follow up the video with a message. He did a fantastic job! His message was great but once again, I am convinced that the translation was lost. The guy that hopped up to translate came with us on an outing a few days ago and I am pretty sure he knew a total of 20 English words. I felt terrible for Tim but he took it in stride.

Friday-
We took the refuge kids to go ice skating. What an adventure. We went to this huge mall in Manila. Funny how just the other day in Manila the poverty was devastating and then today we went to the other side and went to this HUGE mall that had an ice skating rink in the middle. Who would have thought. The kids were so scared on the skates and it was pretty fun to see them get to try something new. I can't remember the last time I ice skated but I was presently surprised at how I was able to remember how to do it. We then treated the kids to pizza hut (which most of the FTC kids ordered chicken and rice instead of pizza) and spent the afternoon hanging with them. In the evening, Romano (blue box pastor) took Tim and I to see a life group, the churches version of "small groups." It was incredible! The life group took place in something similar to a squatter village near the market. In order to get to the families house, we walked into what appeared to be a small alley. The trench for the waste from the outhouses ran along side us as we weaved through this narrow walkway to get to the back of the village. We weaved around for at least 2 minutes before we got to the end. As we walked back, I couldn't stop thinking about the fact that if a fire started, all the people on the inside would be trapped in. There is no way, all the people would get out, there is just too many people and only one small passageway. We sat on the porch of a home with a group of people that ranged from their 70's to about 5 years old. It was such a beautiful sight and such a real example of what community looks like. The members of the group were all from the village and started coming because of the one couple that lived there. On the car ride over to the group Tim asked what the group had been talking about over the past couple of weeks. Romano shared that he had been spending time talking about prayer and then he talked about the things that he was going to cover that night. When we got to the group, we opened with a word of prayer, one song and then Romano said, "I have brought friends from the United States and they are going to lead us tonight." At this point in the trip, it doesn't seem to faze me anymore. Two weeks ago, I would get frustrated if the announcements or the service flow wasn't communicated for a StuCo service at the yellow box. Now, I think I am just used to the "whatever" type of mentality that occurs out here. I have come to accept that at a moments notice, I have to be ready to do anything. After the life group, Tim was going to give speaking at the crusade another chance and I decided to head back to the blue box to join our youth who spoke at the youth service.
After the youth service, Bob and Vicky (two other adults from our group that are out with their family) Lani (one of the students living at FTC) and myself decided to hit the streets of San Pablo. Lani came to FTC about 3 years ago. She lived out on the streets, used to rely on the glue as a form of inhalants to help her deal with the hunger pains, and had suffered the sexual abuse of male figures in her life. About 3 years ago, Bob was out on a trip the Philippines and him and the others from the group came out to hang out with the street children. Lani had met people from frontline before but like most of the kids on the street refused to go with them to live at the center. Most of the street children don't want help because they know it means that they will have to live with some structure in their life. They don't want the rules, they don't want to go to school and they can't imagine breaking away from the drug addictions that they have. At this point in Lani's journey, something opened up to allow Bob to really work on her heart. Although it took several conversations during Bob's stay, Bob finally expressed to Lani how he had a daughter who was Lani's age. He didn't want to go home and not know if Lani was going to be alright. Lani broke down, her heart softened and she asked for one more night in the streets and then she would return to FTC. Although Bob didn't believe that she was going to make her way to the camp, Lani was showed up when she promised. About a month after Lani arrived, they found out that she was pregnant. Now, Lani is a mature 17 year old mother with the most beautiful little girl I have seen. Bob, Vicky and their family has kept in touch with Lani and they have come out on numerous occasions to visit her. Lani really views Bob and Vicky as a parent figure. It's a neat thing to observe. Lani took Bob, Vicky and I to all the places she used to sleep before she came to the camp. She walked us through her story, explained how she used to get food, shower and stay safe. It was fascinating. We stopped to buy shad pow (a bun filled with rat meat) and talked some more. Lani showed us how to eat the shad pow but I picked at the bun and pretended to eat the meat. There was no way, with all my digestion issues, I was taking the risk of eating this thing. I tried to be polite and although Bob called my bluff, I was alright with being a wimp about this one. Jeff Rice (one of the American missionaries) heard that we were walking the streets and met up with us. We continued to walk and found a group of street kids. They all knew Jeff, or as they say brother Jeff, and we spent some time hanging out with them. All of them were super dirty and they were higher than a kite. The glue smell on them was super strong and their pupils were so dilated it was crazy. At the same time they were soooo loving. You could tell that although they were going to refuse our offer to join FTC, they loved it when brother Jeff showed up. We took them to Jollybee (the local fast food chain) and bought them a chicken and rice meal as a trade for all the glue they were carrying. If they didn't hand over the glue, we wouldn't give them the meal. As we walked into the restaurant, kids started coming out of the woodwork. When it was all said and done, we bought about 15 kids meals and spent about 30 minutes just getting to know them at the restaurant. The kids ranged from a 4 month old, to about 15 years old. My heart has never quite broken so much for a group of kids. It was the weirdest thing, after the meal to just walk away and tell the kids we loved them. Those kids have a choice and unfortunately, they are choosing the streets of San Pablo. They find garbage or scraps of cardboard to pad the sidewalk and they just sleep there all night long. They get raped, they go without food, but yet they choose the streets because it is less structure and they can be with their friends. Once we said our goodbyes and wished them the best, Lani wanted to take us to see Rachel. Rachel was her best friend on the street and also her cousin. Rachel was there the night Bob encouraged Lani to come to FTC. Lani said yes, but Rachel refused the offer. We walked up to Rachel and she was sitting on a bucket at the street corner. She was surrounded by her pimps and a couple other females. You could see all the bones in her shoulders and her eyes couldn't stay focused on us. It is obvious there is quite a bit of brain damage that has taken place due to the drugs she has been using. Lani talked with her for quite a bit. She asked her to stop going with these men and tried to show her how much better her life has become. While we were there Rachel got a costumer. Rachel refused to go and the guy (who was higher than a kite) became super angry with us. He asked us to follow him and we didn't. He came back with a small wrench and asked again. My heart began pounding at this point, and Vicky and I moved closer to Jeff and Bob out of fear. Jeff agreed that we needed to leave and said our goodbyes to Rachel. On one hand, I wanted to get off the streets and back where it was safe but on the other hand, I knew that this 15 year old girl was going to allow this high, disgusting jerk take advantage of her for a measly couple of pesos. It made my skin crawl. I wanted to go back and beat the dirtbag with the wrench. Once we got to a more public place, we caught a trike and headed back to FTC. When we walked through the doors of the camp, my heart looked at the kids so differently. Suddenly each of their stories were so real. The beauty of the camp was shinning a little brighter. These kids really do have hope. They have a chance to become something. As I hugged the kids to say goodnight, I felt this motherly sense stir in me. I was so proud of them. I was proud of them for saying yes to getting off the street and into FTC. At the same time, my heart is broken tonight knowing that there are kids we fed that could face some brutal stuff tonight.

An adult afternoon

2009-06-17T17:30:00.003-05:00

Yesterday afternoon Jeff and Whinney took Bob, Vicky, Tim and I into a city about 2 hours away. We let the students stay at the refuge center to hang out with the kids and the adults got some time to be alone for a bit. The town we went to was absolutely mind blowing. The other day, as we went to Manila, Jeff told us that the Philippines is the richest 3rd world country in the world. There is more wealth here in the Philippines than there is in the other places. At the same time, everything we had seen didn't show us that side. The town we visited gave us that other perspective. The town Tanguay (?) sits on the top of a mountain that overlooks a lake created by the volcano. On a clear day, they say the view is breathtaking. Although it was raining and really cloudy what we did see was really nice and I could only imagine how pretty it is on other days. It reminded me of a drive along the blue sky way that we took as a family several years ago. What shocks me about this city is that it isn't all wealthy. There are huge beautiful homes that sit right next to squatter houses. Most areas you have the wealthy neighborhood, with the better schools, nicer stores and then go a couple blocks or the next town and there is the poorer neighborhoods. Here it is all lumped together. As the wealthy home owner walks to the end of his/her gated driveway they look out on homes made out of scraps. You would think that there would be more care for the poor than there is. There is no denying the poor out here. It is right in front of your face but yet it's clear that nothing is being done. In some ways, maybe we are the same. Maybe it is no different in our country. Although there are a lot of things that we are a part of to make a difference with our neighbors maybe in some ways we are just as guilty.

For dinner we went to the cutest coffee shop ever. It was an English pub that was built into the side of the mountain. Walking down the steps was like walking into the rain forest. The flowers were gorgeous, the way the tables were set up in little huts was amazing. We had a chicken pot pie for dinner. Weird that I go all the way the Philippines for my first ever chicken pot pie but it was alright. I am not much of a pie crust person so I wouldn't make a habit of eating them but at this point in the trip there are a lot of things that are tasting good that I normally wouldn't choose.

The way home was quite the adventure. The fog was so bad that you couldn't see more than a foot or two in front of the car. Although the climb of the mountain was full of dangerous twists and turns, the ride down was more excitement then I could handle at times. At times I felt like I was back in Rwanda ready to go off the next cliff. Before one of the curves there was a sign posted that read, "Daddy, we love you please drive carefully." We laughed for quite awhile but then as we drove the curve we realized how dangerous it really was.

It was a great afternoon. I needed some time to just be with adults for a bit.

Pictures and another blog

2009-06-16T22:52:00.003-05:00

Pictures are taking too long to upload on blogger. Please visit them on facebook. For some reason it is quite a bit faster to download them there.

Also, visit Tim Raad's blog at www.searching4theapex.blogspot.com As I mentioned earlier, he has a real gift for words. He has done a better job at keeping up to date with the blog and has had more success at being able to connect.

The students have been writing at www.clinkert.com It is encouraging to hear their words.

A difficult morning

2009-06-16T21:52:00.004-05:00

Yesterday morning I started out the morning passing out the letters to the students. They were crying as they read encouraging words from their parents and friends back home. To my surprise, one of the students I used to help me collect letters for the other leaders let the cat out of the bag and let them know I was getting letters for them. In return I received a bunch of letters from home. Thank you to all of you who wrote. I really appreciate all of them.

Later we took a trip to the jail to participate in some jail ministry that Frontline is a part of. I Can't say that I have ever been in a jail in the states but I am not sure I have ever had a desire. This jail was filled with the happiest prisoners. I don't get it. I don't know that I would be that joyful living in that prison. Most of the females were there due to some sort of drug use. Most of the males stories are a little more serious but some of them are there just because they don't have the money to take their case before a judge. The men's conditions were much worse then the females. The men were crammed with about 40-50 to a cell. Most of them had to share beds or sleep on the floor. The women were all in one cell but there were only about 30 of them. Each of the students took some time to prepare a devotional, share some of their stories and encourage the ladies of the prison. I was really proud of all our students. Every single one of the students shared. Some of the students shared their own struggles and sins and encouraged the prisoners to let them know that God keeps no records of sins and loves them just the same as He loves those who are not in the jail. Some days these students make me feel like a proud Mom. They are so mature in their faith.

Yesterday afternoon Tim and I were invited to join some of the new interns within Frontline's leadership training class. I have gotten really used to realizing that when they invite you to join something they are really telling you that you need to be ready to "share some words of encouragement." (in other words be ready to say something profound) Although, if you asked me to do that in the context of the school building I would feel more comfortable doing that but there is something that makes me incredibly awkward and scares me when they ask me to share here or within the Christian culture. (Especially when some refer to me as Pastor Debbie.... I am not a pastor... I know we are all called to pastor sheep but you know what I mean) I have told Tim that he is not longer allowed to go first in his sharing. I refuse to follow him. He is incredibly blessed with the ability to just get up there and speak. He doesn't think about it and the things that come out of his mouth are incredible. It's a true gift from God. I am praying that I have one positive experience in that department before I leave. It's not that I want to say something profound for me but I would like that feeling of knowing without a doubt that God is going to speak through me.

I am becoming more and more impressed with Frontline Ministry. They do such an incredible job in so many areas. Not only have they established 2 churches, a child refuge center, a well know school/academy, an international business opportunity, hospital partnerships, and jail partnerships but they are going into the streets of Manila and have started small groups in the garbage dumb to eventually begin their next church sites. They could have stopped with the 1 church or the refuge shelter but they didn't. They continue to strive on to ask what is next and where they need to continue ministering. Nothing is out of the question. They take risks and really live out what it means to truly love God and love people. I am become really thankful for conversations with Jeff Pessina, Max (the pastor of the blue box), Ruel (the green box pastor) and Noriel (the dump site pastor and life groups leader).

Not really sure what my deal is this morning but I feel like I am filled with a pretty heavy heart. I don't really know how to explain it or what the deal is but I really wish I could fix it. In some context one of the most difficult things about this trip is not having people to process some of this stuff with. I have been blessed in having close friends on all my other mission trips. There are other great leaders on this trip but the time isn't appropriate to have those conversations. I am really missing friends right now. I miss having a venting outlet.

At 6 am the frontline interns asked Tim and I to lead them in a morning devotional on John Chapter 3. I was pretty excited that we got time to plan this one. (planning time isn't common here) It's probably the teacher in me, but I like to know I am prepared before I just lead something. We decided to take some time and focus on the first part of the chapter and challenge the interns to think through what it might look like if we really grasped what it would look like if we truly believed in God's love for us. Sounds selfish even to write it but honestly, if I could really believe that and buy into the fact that if I were the only one God would have given his son for me my life would be radically different. If I really got that, I would love people so much more, I would be so much more generous, and I would be so much more confident in the things I feel like God has called me to do. Tim, once again, was used in an incredible way. He had all the interns moved to tears. It was really good.

This afternoon we are headed back to the refuge center to hang out with the kids once they are done with school.

A day in the streets of Manila

2009-06-15T18:24:00.005-05:00

Yesterday we spent the day in Manila. Although seeing life at the garbage dump was sad and humbling, there is something about the way people live in Manila that shocks me. I always have said that Haiti is the worst poverty that I have seen, but here in Manila is awful in it's own way. Although people here can get food and there is vegetation for them to grow crops of some sort, there are so many people living in such a small amount of space. Literally, the homes are stacked one on top of another. If someone relieves themselves on the 3rd level, you know all that waste travels down to the two below. It is a massive sea of people. Walking down the road reminded me of the feeling of walking downtown Chicago on the 3rd of July. We warned our group to take off all jewelry, carry nothing in pockets and keep any backpack on the front of them. When I asked on of the frontline staff if I could have my camera around my neck, he jokingly responded, "it depends if the camera is more important, or my neck was more important." Although I kept my camera around my neck the whole day without problem, Tim, another team leader, had a gentleman come up and ask him for a high five. Within seconds the guy had a hold of Tim's wedding ring and luckily Tim was able to clench a fist just in time to save it.

While we were hanging out, there was a young lady who was 14 years old. She had in her arms a child that she delivered less than a week ago. This baby looked so premature. I have seen small babies but never that small. I sat down and talked with her a little. Within 10 minutes, she put the baby in my arms and just sat with me. There is something about children and babies that melt my heart. I sat there and my heart just broke for this little boy. How on earth will he get the nourishment that he needs? Is he even going to survive? I held the baby for probably a good hour. Most of that time I just prayed that somehow, someway that little boy would survive and that he would grow up to know God and help change that community.

The afternoon was spent with different stations that we split the students up in. The kids drew pictures with paper and crayons that we brought. The other station the kids had their feet cleaned. Although hygiene wise it wasn't the cleanest, our students spent the afternoon washing the children's feet and then putting a brand new pair of flip flops on thier bare feet. In most of the cases, the kids didn't have shoes at all. There were some kids that took off their shoes, hid them to the side and wanted the new ones anyway. Either way, it's fine. At the end of the day, all the kids were given a meal of noodles, chicken and rice with a juice box to go with it.

After we served food the community, one of the frontline guys and another frontline lady allowed me to go for a walk around the area. It's pretty funny how much they protect you while you are walking. One walked in front of me and the other walked behind me. Although I never felt too unsafe, I knew there was a fairly big risk that I might loose my camera. What I saw was pretty discouraging. I can't imagine living there and it makes me sick that people have to live like that. Jeff Pasina (the founder of frontline) mentioned that Philippines is a weird country in that there is a significant amount of wealth and a significant amount of extreme poverty. The lower class is huge, the middle class is super small and the upper class is fairly big. The reality of it comes down to politics. Politically there isn't a whole lot being done to fight the poverty in their own country. There are 4 billionaires in this country (supposedly several countries in Europe don't have any) but yet people live like this. The resort area and beaches in the Philippines are beautiful but yet the city looks like this. It makes me really wonder what this world is about.

After we took a couple hours to grab lunch for ourselves and get a little break from the crowds, we headed back to a different baranguy (neighborhood) and passed out the remaining meals and some candy packets. The area that we wanted to go into was a rougher one that we were in before lunch so we make a quick stop at the police station. We learned from them that a couple weeks ago a mission group from Germany came in and tried to pass out food. They made the mistake of going in on their own and within 15 minutes, all of their personal stuff, the meals and everything that they brought was stolen from them. When they asked for the police help after that, there was nothing they could do. We figured we would ask the police to come with us from the beginning. The crowds of people were crazy. It was almost like the beginning of a riot. Upon police recommendation, we made the students stay in the car but he allowed the leaders to get out to take pictures and help distribute food. We opened the back of the truck that the students were in and allowed them to pass out the meals from the end of truck but they were safe from the mob of people. Like an idiot, I walked into the middle of the mob of people to get some pictures. Even though I got pushed, shoved and stepped on, it made me realize the level of need this borungy has. The police tried to keep control for the most part but after 20 minutes, one of the officers demanded that I get in the van, keep the windows closed and get us out. It was an unsettling experience for all of us. In their viewpoint, all they saw was mobs of people pushing and shoving to get by the van. They heard knocking and banging on the truck and they heard Jeff, Tim and Bob on the roof passing out candy. They though the riot was going to tip the truck and is scared them quite a bit. With a van full of tears, these student's hearts began breaking for what they saw in this community. They were angry, frustrated and sickened by the fact that this level of poverty exsists. As much as I hate seeing students upset, it is good for them to see what the world is like. Now I am just praying that as I continue to help them process that experience it doesn't become an "I hate the world" mentality but rather a "what am I going to do about it" mindset. If our team travels 1/2 around the world to hand out food, and minister to kids but then goes home and does nothing to continue serving, I feel like we fail in part of our experience. Serving is a lifelong process, not a 3 week mission trip.

The Green Box

2009-06-12T17:28:00.003-05:00

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Today we headed out the the green box. The green box is the second campus of the church out here in the Philippines. Community Christian Church has partnered with the ministry out here and the first site of the church that was launched has already launched a second location. They call the first site the blue box and the second site is now the green box. Funny how our main location back in Naperville has the nickname as the yellow box and now the Philippines has followed suite with calling each of the their locations different colored boxes.

While at the church site, our students went to visit individuals who had just starting attending the church. The students spent some time in their homes visiting with them. Some of the street kids from the orphanage joined us so that they could spend time with us.

The leaders spent the afternoon going to some of the individuals who are really sick or dealing with different struggles.

Later in the afternoon we brought out all the baseball equipment that we brought for the kids. We taught the kids how to use a baseball glove. For most of those children, they have never put a ball glove on in their life. It was a pretty cool experience. I think baseball is a hit out here.

In the evening, our youth joined the Philippine youth group for the youth celebration service.

Sorry, a lot of details and not much depth but there is not a whole lot of time. Hopefully more tonight.

A day at the hospital and orphanage

2009-06-10T17:28:00.004-05:00

Yesterday we had a packed day. We took a group of our students to the local public hospital and spent some time meeting with patients and praying for them. It was a very different experience for myself and I am sure for our students. When presented with the opportunity, I struggled and if I am honest, I wasn't really excited about barging into some strangers room. All I could think of is how I would have felt if complete strangers walked into my hospital room back in January. I am not sure I would have loved that, in fact, I am pretty sure I would have asked them to leave. Nothing like being in awful pain and having someone come in who doesn't speak your language. Although the first room was incredibly awkward for me personally, there was something in the eyes of the patients that made me really feel like they were glad we were there. I was so proud of the students. They stepped out on a leap of faith and spent time just loving these people. Billy, a senior at Plainfield South was up to pray for a patient. We walked in and heard that she had a stab wound to her chest. She had tried to take her life. Due to family troubles and financial difficulties, she felt like there was no hope. Although she was healing and doing much better, there was so much pain and hurt in her life. While we were there her and her husband came to the decision that they wanted to begin a journey with Christ. I think Billy expressed it the best when he said, "It was awesome to see that it doesn't matter who we are. I am not the best prayer and I stumbled through what I thought was an awful prayer. Instead God took that and used it in her life and now she has hope. It just shows me that no matter who it is, God can use us if we just say yes."

Today, we took the orphanage kids to the pool. As we got to know these kids stories, I am astounded at what these young kids have gone through. Their stories are crazy. Abuse, drug use, sexual abuse... you name it they have experienced it. Today, I took an incredible amount of joy in watching our students make these kids smile and laugh. Here are some of the snapshots.

We have arrived!

2009-06-09T18:05:00.002-05:00

After a 13 hour flight to Tokyo and then a 5 hour flight to Manila, we arrived in the Philippines at about 2am local time. There is a 13 hour time difference between here and home but I think since we slept as soon as we got here we will hopefully adjust really quickly. We have a full day packed. I look forward to writing more this evening.

Just a day away

2009-06-07T22:09:00.003-05:00

One more final exam and then I am headed to the airport to catch a plane to the Philippines! It's been a whirlwind the past couple of days but I think I got it all done and I am ready to go. I will keep you updated as much as I can as the trip unfolds. Thank you so much for all of your prayers and support. I look forward to what God has in store over the next couple of weeks.

Heading to the Philippines

2009-05-12T20:17:00.004-05:00

I am writing to let you know of an exciting adventure that I am going to be a part of this coming summer. On June 8th I will be co-leading a mission trip for 15 high school students to the Philippines. During our time in the Philippines we will spend time ministering to homeless and abandoned children by bringing them food and connecting them to Frontline Ministry. Frontline Ministry is a Christian shelter/orphanage where children can live and receive housing, education, medical assistance and most importantly a second chance at life. Each day, tens of thousands of homeless and abandoned children live on the streets in the Philippines; some street children are as young as three years old. On the streets, these children are subject to poverty, hunger, mal- nutrition, minimal health and dental care, disease, drug abuse, and all kinds of physical and sexual abuse. Many of the girls find themselves forced into prostitution both locally and in foreign countries. It is my hope that by being a part of this team, I will have the ability to make a difference in the lives of the children by helping get them out of streets and into a loving orphanage that will give them the support they deserve. It is also my hope that by serving in this capacity, I will be able to work with 15 incredible high school students from Aurora, Romeoville, Naperville, and Oswego and lead them through a life changing opportunity to serve the children of the Philippines. Aside from the opportunity they will have during the trip itself, I hope to instill a heart for service that will encourage them to find ways to serve locally when they return and on future mission opportunities.

Mission trips have been an important part of my personal journey. I believe that because of the experiences I have been a part of in Mexico, Africa, Haiti, and locally in Aurora, I have developed a heart of service and a greater sense of the world in which we live. I really believe that this mission trip is going to lay a similar foundation in the lives of these students. I would like to ask you to join our team in being a part of the experience by praying for the following things;

Pray for the team as they continue fundraising for the trip
Pray for the student's on the trip as they begin to prepare their hearts for the experience
Pray for the team in the Philippines as they prepare for our arrival.

I can't wait to keep you updated as we get closer to the event!

It's been a winter

2009-04-10T20:27:00.001-05:00

This winter has been full of some crazy events. It's been a journey.... but as the blog title states, it's all about the journey. Here is some of the recap...

Been supper busy, sometimes stressed, and sometimes an emotional wreck working to complete my portfolio for the National Boards Certification. Mailed it in at the end of March and now it is just 9 months of waiting.
Had a crazy Christmas break and between trips to the hospital and tests galore, I gave up the gallbladder and feel better then I have felt in years!
Had an incredible Winter Conference for our student ministry. Took about 700 folks up to the Wisconsin Dells for an amazing weekend.
Began the process of creating a new class for school
In the process of studying for one of the biggest test's I will ever take in my life. Let's hope it pays off...
Went for some R&R for spring break
Praying through summer mission opportunities.

Although I don't know that I can say that have been the best friend, daughter, sister or Aunt during these past couple of months, I believe that once I get through the coursework for National Boards there will be so much more balance back in my life. It's all about the Journey.... all about the journey...

October 6th

2008-10-05T20:43:00.002-05:00

Tonight opened a devotional called Grace for the Moment, by Max Lucado and looked up tomorrow's date. Here is what it read.... It could not be more fitting for me right now.

"God began doing a good work in you, and I am sure he will continue it until it is finished." Philippians 1:6

"The message of Jesus to the religious person is simple: It's not what you do. It's what I do. I have moved in. Religious rule-keeping can sap your strength. It's endless. there is always another class to attend, Sabbath to obey, Ramadan to observe. No prison is as endless as the prison of perfection. Her inmates find work but never find peace. How could they? They never know when they are finished. Christ however, gifts you with a finished work. He fulfilled the law for you. Bid farewell to the burden of religion. Gone is the fear that having done everything, you might not have done enough. You climb the stairs, not by your strength, but his. God pledges to help those who stop trying to help themselves."

Tomorrow I celebrate 29 years of life and yet I still fall into the trap or feeling the need to "improve" or "fix" different areas of life. In this next year, my prayer is that I figure out what it means to let go of that and just allow God to work.

Being a Cubs fan

2008-10-04T20:58:00.001-05:00

I have never been more upset as a Cubs fan. I can't even explain the last three games that I attempted to painfully watch. The Dodgers deserved to win. Every moment of every inning all the Dodgers players played with a desire to win. Cubs on the other hand, you sat in the dugout, you watched good pitches go by, and you played like crap in the field. My Cubs, I love you but you stunk it up, and you took an incredible season a flushed it down the toilet. I will root for you next year but tonight, for the first time, I don't want to use the phrase "maybe next year." You don't deserve to win a World Series until you show a desire to want to win.

Cubs Win

2008-09-20T21:52:00.002-05:00

As I walked into church tonight the Cubs were up by a run. There was part of me that thought about going to the later service or skipping all together so that I could see the end of the game but I figured that watching a Cubs game may be a poor excuse for missing church. The lady two rows behind me had the right idea. She had her phone showing her the play by play and in all of her excitement, in the middle of the campus pastor's talk, she yelled "Cubs win." It was a rather funny moment. I wanted to turn around to see who it was that screamed it out but I figured she was embarrassed enough. When church was over, she was nowhere to be found. I am pretty sure her and whoever she came with made a b-line for the door as soon as the message was done. When church was over I headed over to the sporting goods store to pick up my 2008 division title t-shirt. It was pretty amazing how many they had already sold. The lady at the store said there were costumers waiting in the store at the end of the game to be sure they got one. Cubs fans are crazy! I LOVE it! This is the year and I am loving every minute of it!

A little impulse buy

2008-09-07T17:58:00.003-05:00

I did one of the crazier things I have done in life yesterday and it felt great! My civic that I have had for the past 6 years was getting up there in age. There was really nothing wrong with it but I knew that I was getting to the point of either having to put money into it or possibly sell it. Because the financing rates are so low right now and dealers are willing to work with their price a little more, I have been throwing around this idea of car shopping for the past couple of months. I decided this weekend that I would just "go look." I had no intention of buying. It always takes me months/years to make decisions on a big purchase but I was ready to start the process. My Dad and I had a little father/ daughter bonding time and we headed to the dealer to do some test driving. Six hours later and what I think was a fantastic deal, Herbie (the civic) was traded in and now I am the proud owner of this little guy! I LOVE everything about it. I am totally one of those crazy new car people that cringes as the miles go up, parks in the back of every parking lot, and fears the day I find the first door ding. I am in need of name for this one. It can't be Conrad (who was my first Corsica) or Herbie (the old civic). Do you have any suggestions?

The foundation

2008-08-17T23:48:00.001-05:00

Over the past several months I was blessed with the opportunity to journey alongside a church that is getting ready to launch in Shaumburg, IL. I believe that there was a sense of oasis that took place in the journey with that team that I really appreciated. God is going to use Waterfront church in some incredible ways, and there is something that I believe that they taught me that I need to get good at in order for God to really use me the way He intends. If I am honest, I believe that it holds the foundation to what is crucial to making a great team. Waterfront was incredible at taking intentional time to care for and love one another. In planning gatherings, pre-launch church services, and every e-mail contact, it was evident that the most important agenda at task was to care for others. Because of that, the pull to be a part of the mission of the church was so strong. It is so easy in life to get wrapped up in the surplus of tasks at hand and run out of time to intentionally love people well. I want to be the type of leader where my leaders feel like I care more about them as individuals then what holes they fill in my ministry. As a teacher, I want my students to know that I care more about them as an individual then the way they behave in class or the grade they earn. I know what it feels like to just be a hole filler or one that just takes up a seat and I don't want anyone around me to feel that way. I am not sure how to get great at this piece, especially when life is filled with tasks, deadlines, quotas, and numerous other things to accomplish. When I walk through the halls of my school, I tend to error on the side of being on a mission. When I sit down and talk with a leader, I have a list of important upcoming information that the leader needs to know. If time is pushed, the personal gets set aside and the informational gets tackled. I need to reverse the strategy or find a balance between the two. I was blessed to feel a part of community of people that got it but now I need to take "it" and either reproduce it or plug it into another structure.

I threw a paper airplane in church

2008-08-17T22:13:00.002-05:00

I have been attending/working at Community Christian Church
for awhile now and there are still days where I walk away amazed at what takes place. We are in this great new series called the leader within and this week we were talking about the vision of a leader and taking things that are a holy discontent for us and living them out to make a difference. In the beginning, there was a video clip that they showed with a story of the Wright Brothers. As the pastor got started, he made a reference to the sheet on our chair that had an outline that we could take notes on. On the back of that sheet, in order to keep with the Wright Brothers theme, there was a step by step detailed description on how to turn you notes into a paper airplane. As if that wasn't funny enough, right at the end of the message (right before communion) the pastor asked us to create our paper airplane and then had us all fly them at the same time. It was the funniest thing I have ever see to have 300+ paper airplanes (not all loosened up enough to actually fly them) flying in the middle of a church service. The only bad part is after service I went to go find my airplane to keep my notes that I wrote on the other side and I couldn't find it anywhere. Oh CCC, it is so far out of the normal church box but it is exactly what it needs to be in order to help people find their way back to God.

Jumping in with two feet

2008-08-14T22:06:00.002-05:00

I became a student again today. Last spring, I began throwing around the idea of what it would look like to go back to school to work towards my National Board Certification. For the longest time I sat on the fence with the decision. I feel like if I finish this process, it solidifies that teaching is the avenue God is going to use me (or that I am telling God he will use me). I LOVE teaching with all my heart. I love connecting with students, I love seeing them grow, learn, and mature. I love the challenges, I love the light bulb moments, and I love the collaboration with other teachers but something still doesn't sit easy in my heart. I know ministry takes place in the classroom on a daily basis but there is still something that pulls me to the wonder of doing ministry within the church. What holds me back? I am not sure, maybe it is a lack of confidence, maybe it is not being called to switch, or maybe it is lack of faith that God will give me the skill set to be successful in ministry. Even though I feel like I don't have a clue what I am going to do the next 20 years, I felt like I needed to do everything I can to continue pushing me to be a better teacher until I figure life out.

So I am jumping in with both feet. I printed out the 300 page explanation of the portfolio assessment today and about had a panic attack. As the professor explained today, "This will be the most challenging and rigorous process you have ever been through." He compared it do the level of getting a doctoral degree but condensing it into 9 months as apposed to several years. Anyone can do anything for nine months right......

Jr High Camp

2008-08-11T18:26:00.004-05:00

I just returned from a week of Jr High camp in Lake City, Michigan. It was a pretty incredible week. The camp was amazing. It was more like a resort than a camp. The students had access to tubing, a zip line, the blob, rock climbing, high ropes, basketball, frisbee golf, the lake front. You name it this camp had it! This was my first event with Jr High students and I wasn't really sure what I was getting myself into. To be totally honest, I wasn't all that excited and was pretty terrified to hang out with them for an entire week. As I had watched other Jr high events unfold, my only take was that they are super loud and really crazy. Although they can be very high energy, they are incredible. There are quite of few of them that really get this idea of living for Christ. It is fun to hear them communicate that and see the light bulb go off in their heads as the week went on. I think my favorite part about them is their love for anyone. With high school ministry you have to prove yourself a bit. There is this window of time that it takes to prove yourself cool enough to hang out with the high school student. Jr High kids love anyone who is willing to hang out with them- no proving necessary just be goofy and spend time with them and they think your great! Here is a clip of the week to get an idea of what it was all about!

A Cubs loss and a dead car

2008-07-25T20:18:00.003-05:00

I went into the city today to enjoy a cubs game but unfortunately I watched the cubs loose and when I went to leave the ball park my car was completely dead. Lately, I have been challenged a lot to intentionally find ways to love and help others. Today I saw myself on the reverse side of that. We walked around for a good hour trying to find someone who might help us by giving my car a jump. We heard some of the most pathetic excuses as to why people were NOT going to help us. I think my favorite was an employee at Wrigley who walked right past us and said, "Sorry there is nothing I can do." When we walked two blocks down to ask another gentlemen, the guy told us to go back to the Wrigley employee that walked away because he had the radio to get someone. We called the other two back at the car to chase the employee and when one of the them asked him once again, his response was he didn't have a radio to call anyone. (The radio was clear as day on his belt loop). When Mr. helpful cub worker walked back to where I was and I explained that his co-worker told me to have him call without a response he just walked past me once again. Luckily, at the same time a group of friendly gentlemen came walking by and without hesitation, walked over to my car and got it going. An hour later and about 20 people worth of rejections, I realized just how incredible it feels when someone steps outside their little world and offers a helping hand. I hope that I continue to push myself to be that person for others. In a hurry or not, I pray that my eyes are opened to the lives around me and not just my own little world.

Girls Trip!

2008-07-23T22:35:00.010-05:00

I just got back this evening from a great little getaway with some pretty incredible friends. The five of us have been friends since high school but with the busy life of teachers (I know it's summer as I write this but not all months are June, July or Aug), we struggled to hang out like we used to back in the day. A year ago we started a tradition where we schedule a time each month for the five of us to have coffee, dinner, or ice cream together. This month we decided to take it a step further and spend two days in Lake Geneva at one of the girls parents lake house. We all needed a couple days to just get away and laugh like I did. There were a lot of funny moments, funny conversations, and some hysterical memories of old times. Oddly enough, one of my all time highlights was being able to ride in the golf cart everywhere we went within this beach community. There were golf cart trails, under road cart tunnels, and even lined golf cart parking spots within the community. Friendship is a beautiful thing! I pray that as I grow older I always make quality time with friends. No matter what life brings or how busy things get, I pray that every month, the five of us will continue to hang out. I can't wait to be 70 years old and sitting on that golf cart with the same group of girls!

Happy Birthday David

2008-07-22T23:17:00.001-05:00

David turns 4 today! Happy Birthday Buddy!

StuCo serve day

2008-07-17T15:28:00.003-05:00

Today I spent all day with about 10 of our students working on a habitat for humanity home in Aurora. About three years ago, there was a student who had just graduated from the ministry and was getting ready to be a part of a internship within StuCo so that he can begin leading. At that time, him and his dad talked about the possibility of working together to build a habitat home in Aurora. Kevin's dream was to rally students from StuCo together and his Dad would get people involved from the Community 4:12 ministry to make this happen. Unfortunately, it was during that time that Kevin lost his battle with depression and took his own life. In his honor, his parents have pushed to keep the dream alive. One week from this Sunday, they will dedicated the home to a mother and her twin daughters. There is something about serving that is incredible. If I woke up tomorrow and knew that I would have to do 6 hours of intense landscaping at my own place, I would HATE every last thought if it. Yet when I get the opportunity to serve with a group of people it is so much different. There is something about the laughter, the conversations, the memories that make every sweaty minute of it fun. Then on top of all that, there is something incredible when you get to be a part of seeing the family get a new start on life. When a family is blessed and you get to witness their joy as they take the keys for the first time. Sometimes I even wonder who is blessed more, the family or those of us that got to be a part of the making it happen. It was a fantastic day!

An incredible day!

2008-07-15T01:29:00.005-05:00

Today was an absolute great day! We held our first ever StuCo golf outing to raise money for our student ministry. Not only was the weather amazing but everything ran so smoothly! We couldn't have asked for a better experience. We were blessed with an incredible golf course that hosted the event, some wonderful sponsors for the holes, and 72 golfers who joined us in the event. It was a huge success! As a ministry, we never want money to hold a student back from attending any of our events. As a result of today, we are able to reduce the cost to students and hopefully open the door to allowing more students to attend. I can't wait to see how God is going to move within StuCo over the next year! Here is a little video I put together of some of the pictures. If you weren't able to join us this year, please consider coming out next year!

First time in the bleachers!

2008-07-11T20:34:00.003-05:00

I have been a cubs fan for a long time and have gone to several games but today was my first opportunity to sit in the bleachers. It was a beautiful day at Wrigley Field! It was fun to experience the game from the outfield. There is nothing quite like the thrill of seeing a ball hit and feeling like it is headed your direction. Although I came how without catching a ball, it was a fantastic day of hanging out with friends, watching baseball and seeing the Cubbies bring home the W!

4th of July

2008-06-30T22:19:00.002-05:00

Today as I was driving I spotted my first hot air balloon sighting of the holiday weekend. I am not really sure what it is about the 4th but there is something that I love about the hot air balloon launches that they do in Lisle. Ever since I remember, we would make it a tradition that during the weekend of the 4th we would journey out to see the sunrise balloon launch. It's a really weird thing to get so excited about but there is something so beautiful about seeing so many balloons set sail as the sun is coming up. I love it! Between fireworks and hot air balloons, this holiday has to rank up there as one of my favorite!

Washington DC co-rec vs Naperville Co-rec

2008-06-27T21:40:00.003-05:00

Tonight we played softball downtown DC with my brother and sister-in-law's co-rec softball team. Softball is one of the big social networks out here and there are leagues that run fairly often. A couple years ago I started the tradition of flying out to visit during a game weekend so that I could join the team for a game. I decided tonight that Co-Rec in DC just doesn't compare to Co-rec in Naperville. I would like to call tonights game "beer league" softball. In the first inning, with me and third and my brother at short, I witnessed my brother dive for a ball, not to field it cleanly but instead to save his cup of beer that he decided to bring out on the field with him. I may be going out on a limb here but in Naperville, our league is a little different. (or maybe we are a little different) We are pretty extreme when it comes to game day. The championship is like the world series, we keep stats throughout the season, we recruit players to play on the team, and we talk about softball 24/7 when we are in season. We don't have time to carry beer out on the field. It is serious stuff and we HAVE to win each game we play!

Although TWAN (team without a name) pulled out a victory this evening, the game ended pretty brutal. My brother hit a inside the park home run (he is a lot faster than me) and as he was rounding third and coming home, he blew out his knee once again. He had two surgeries on it before and wore a pretty heavy duty brace to prevent it from happening again but tonight it wasn't enough. The brace didn't work tonight. It looks like this is his last game of the season but it was a good thing he had a few beers in him to keep the pain under control.

Taking a little trip

2008-06-26T19:58:00.003-05:00

I am in Washington DC for a couple days to visit my brother and his family. My nephew will be 3 in September and it is amazing how much he has changed since I last saw him. There is something about not being close to him as he grows up that is sad for me. With my other brothers kids (who live 30 min from me), when Aunt Debbie arrives they get super excited and and won't leave my side. Kyle isn't quite sure about that. He is still a little hesitant as to whether or not he is a big fan. We hung out at the pool today, played a lot of Thomas and cars, and enjoyed some time watching Sprout. Hopefully I will be here long enough to get him to buy into hanging out with me rather than running to Mom or Dad for everything. Then once I leave and return in another 4-6 months, the game will probably start all over again. Maybe by the time he is 4 or 5 it will be a little easier to remember who I am.... I hope....

Tomorrow night we have the big softball game. My brother plays in a softball league and every summer when I schedule my trip we have to make sure that it falls on a softball night. The team is pretty nice in allowing me to be a part of gang for a night. This will be the first time I put the glove back on since I broke my thumb in October. Let's hope tomorrow's game ends a little different than the last.

Why I love Honda

2008-06-21T11:53:00.002-05:00

I have realized that I have formed a crazy sorta love for the Honda automobile. Although I am sure there are other cars that are a little cheaper on the budget, there is something about the customer service that Honda has to offer. Today I am sitting in the service center lobby of the Honda dealership waiting for my car to get an oil change. While I wait, I have the cubs playing on the Plasma screen TV in front of me, my computer picking up the free wireless Internet access, drinking a Starbucks freshly brewed coffee, and sitting with my feet up in a recliner chair. It used to be that we always got the same service guy when I went to the dealership in Lisle. I used to drive 45 minutes to visit Laird (an older gentleman that would know you by name as you walked in the door). Now that Honda switched to making you talk to the service guy that was up next, I moved my business from the Honda in Lisle to the Honda dealership down the street. Although I am sad to not see Laird every oil change, I am pleasantly impressed with the service men I have dealt with. Never once have I am encouraged to get something fixed that I did not need, nor have I gotten any run around with what was wrong with the car. I don't know when I will have to be in the market for a new car but something tells me Honda will win my service.

A Great Week!

2008-06-20T18:36:00.005-05:00

Student Community just spent the week in Anderson, IN and it was an incredible week. I am always so amazed at how great the students are. The conference was incredible. It was one of those weeks where I honestly believe God moved in so many ways. I had so many great conversations with students who have made some pretty big steps in their own personal journey. I heard from students who are ready to be baptized, others who are going to be a part of raising awareness of issues around the world, others who are changing some behaviors they have been involved with and other students who have made the decision that they are surrendering their life to following the plan God has for them. On the last night we spent time praying for specific students who shared and I have never heard our students pray quite like they did that night. It was a heart felt prayer of student after student lifting up one another. The things that came out of students mouths was beautiful. I am truly blessed to be given the opportunity to serve in this way. There were times this past year that balancing a full time job and a part time job left me wanting to tear my hair out but this made every sacrifice worth it.

On a personal level, I was reminded of the importance of listening to how God is calling me to move. There are areas of my life that I need to give up and be more willing to trust God and take risks for God. There are areas of my life that I need to stop focusing on my "inabilities" and trust that God will continue to stand in the gap for me and work through me even in the areas that I don't feel qualified. I was reminded of the incredible opportunity that we are blessed with when it comes to being apart of the Jesus Mission.

CIY 2008

2008-06-14T22:22:00.002-05:00

I leave tomorrow to take about 85 high school students to CIY (Christ in Youth) - a conference in Indiana. In working through the small group curriculum, I am pretty excited about the theme of this years conference. I can't wait to share more about it.

The countdown begins

2008-05-28T17:13:00.002-05:00

2 more days........Today our office officially started singing the lyrics "schools out for the summer!" The environment has quickly gone from stress and tension to this fun laid back summer is here joy! I LOVE being a teacher and I LOVE my job but there is something about the anticipation of summer break that never gets old. June, July and August are fantastic months! Summer break here I come....

He loved people

2008-05-27T21:31:00.006-05:00

http://cbs2chicago.com/westsuburbanbureau/kayaker.Craig.Fliege.2.328704.html

It has been two years since Bruce ran into the waters to help save a strangers life and there is something about the example of how he lived his life that will forever be on my heart. He loved God, loved people, and lived a life that showed it.

God I thank you for the life of Bruce. I thank you for the ways that you used him to reach so many people. I thank you his example, his friendship, and the seeds he planted in my own life. I pray for his wife Jill as she continues to grieve the loss of her husband. I pray each day you give me the strength and wisdom to live this verse out in the way that I live my life.

Sometimes you just ask why?

2008-05-15T21:38:00.002-05:00

In class and 100% healthy one day and the next day the student is fighting for their life. There are days that as a teacher I never want to have to repeat. Today is one of those days. It leaves me shaking my head and just asking why? Great kid, great student and so young. Why? It just doesn't make sense...

God, I pray that I live a life that makes the most of every minute I am blessed with. There is no guarantee on life and although this doesn't make sense and it seems so wrong, I pray that somehow you show how you can bring some sort of good out of a terrible thing. I pray for my students, the family and a miracle.

Happy First Birthday Julia

2008-05-10T22:38:00.003-05:00

Julia celebrated her first birthday yesterday. I love being an Aunt!

Dinner with Cip

2008-04-27T19:42:00.004-05:00

Yesterday I got a huge surprise. Cip called me and said that his papers went through and he is finally here (and safe) in Naperville! So tonight Beth and I took Cip out to celebrate! It was a blast. We spent time laughing about some of the memories of when we were in Rwanda. We laughed about the Baboon that chased me while on a Safari, the crazy roads that we had to drive on and the bridges that we thought we were going to die on. We then spent time laughing about some of the crazy questions people have asked Cip since he has been here.

I met Cip over a year ago when I was in Rwanda. He lived there with his wife and their four kids. Because of the constant instability of the government and Cip's safety, he came to the United States to be granted asylum. Cip has an incredible story that he went through during the years of the genocide. He is a man of incredible faith. So many times I find myself frustrated with the petty things in life and seeing Cip reminds me how much I have to be thankful for. Although it is a blessing to see Cip, there is part of my heart that breaks for him. I can't imagine coming to another country without my family. Although Cip is incredibly optimistic and just thankful to be safe, I can see how much he longs for his wife and kids. Please pray for Cip and his family. Please pray that Cip is able to find a job and that his wife and kids will be allowed to come and live with him. Also pray for their safety as they are still back in Rwanda.

I go a new book

2008-04-25T17:26:00.002-05:00

Last night I was planning on going to watch a softball game but it got rained out. Although I miss seeing the girls play, it was a nice blessing to have a free night. I headed over to the bookstore and picked up a new book. I spent 2 hours curled up in my bed reading. This book has a blog and a webcast that goes along with it. I am pretty jazzed about it.

Oh David

2008-04-20T21:01:00.002-05:00

I got to have my niece and nephew for part of this past weekend. We had a ton of fun. We spent some time watching Alvin and Chipmunks, playing at the park, and just hanging out and being goofy. My nephew (3) is in that stage where there are certain letters that just don't come out the way they are supposed to. One of those challenging combinations for him are the letters "s" and "t." When the two of them are put together, he makes them sound like the letter "d."

When we were playing at the park, David was digging in the sand and came across a bubble container. I was ten feet away playing with his sister on the monkey bars and David was getting a little frustrated because he could not find the stick that is in the container to blow bubbles. My nephew never says anything quietly and began yelling, "Aunt Debbie, I can't find the (st)ick, I can't find the (st)ick. AUNT DEBBIE, where's the (st)ick." The parents of course were looking at me to see how I was going to react and trying not to laugh, I explained that he was saying stick and we are working on his "st" In the end, we all kinda chuckled a little bit but if I had a camera to capture their faces when he first started yelling. Never a dull moment....

Swinging from trees

2008-04-19T16:26:00.003-05:00

Today I took 24 students out to a high ropes course for a field trip. I had taken a group of students a couple years ago but decided that since there were an even group of students, I would just stay below and encourage the students while they are up there. (reality was I was too chicken to make a fool out of myself) This year, the other teacher was convinced that we were going up and completing every challenge. Each activity looked so much easier from the ground than it did when I was in the air. Between the wind swaying the trees that we were attached to and the crazy feeling I would get when I looked down, I was pretty pathetic. There were certain points throughout the course that my legs were shaking so fast I literaly could not stop them. I hate heights and even through I knew that I was supported by a rope, there was no comfort in that rope keeping me up. There is so many positive analogies and lessons that can come out of a high ropes experience. I think the thing I enjoyed seeing the most was how much the students supported one another. I have never heard such positive encouragement spoken from high school students to one another and even to us as teachers. I am pretty bruised up today from taking a few nasty spills but it was worth it.

Shaken up...

2008-04-18T16:20:00.000-05:00

At 4:30 in the morning, I started to feel my bed shaking. My first through was that someone was opening our garage door which is below my bedroom but when I began to hear my bookshelf rattle against the wall and the walls begin to creek, I knew it was an earthquake. I ran out into the hall and noticed that my roommates light was on. Sure enough, the rumble woke both of us up. When I went through the day, it was amazing to me how many people claimed they slept right through it. I usually sleep through anything but there was no way I would have slept through that.

Endless winter and burnt armpits

2008-04-11T19:15:00.003-05:00

So I finally was sick and tired of this crazy winter weather and decided that I needed a little splash of summer. I decided a couple weeks ago to purchase a small package of tanning minutes to give me a little sunshine until the summer months arrive. I realize it is hypocritical to tan as a health teacher but I had a weak moment and decided a little glow on my skin would make this crazy long winter a little easier to deal with. Yesterday after school I stopped by the tanning salon on my way home from work for my third session of tanning. This particular time, I would have had to wait ten minutes to get a lay down booth but I could tan right away in a stand up booth. I am a big fan of the relaxation that the lay down bed offers but I decided that I didn't have time to wait so I would try something new. Awful idea. Although the time under the lights is less, you stand in a small time capsule looking thing and hold onto this bar above your head. If being claustrophobic wasn't bad enough, I have the worst case of burnt armpits ever. Today it was all I could do to have my arms to the side. I felt like I needed to keep them suspended out in the air to keep from rubbing against my t-shirt. I have had a sunburn before but NEVER has it been as bad as burning my armpits!

CUTE

2008-03-31T19:45:00.004-05:00

I know that I am a little biased but I really believe that being these kids Aunt is one of life's greatest blessings. As cute as they are, they are just as fun to be around.

I WIN

2008-03-29T23:11:00.000-05:00

Louisville 73- North Carolina 83!

Advance

2008-03-24T23:53:00.000-05:00

In our student ministry, we took our student interns through a book called Chasing Daylight, by Erwin McManus. In this book, he challenges us to seize the divine moments (whether small or large). In all of our lives, there are opportunities that are placed in front of us that need to be seized. I think that I have been fairly good at seizing the little moments. The ones that are less risky, and that don't require me to get outside my safety box. I also know that I am horrible when it comes to the larger moments. the ones that result in big change or risk. I am a play it safe type of person. I pray through, analyze, analyze again, create pro and con charts, and talk through things until I am blue in the face. I wonder if all that has caused me to miss "Divine moments." What would it look like to just lived a life where I say yes to opportunities and run at them full force until God says stop. Is that really realistic? Is is smart?

There is a quote from this book that is weighing heavy on my heart lately. Erwin states, "More often than not the signs pointing us to advance will be ominous. They will cause us to assess who we are and who we believe God to be. They will make clear our priorities. Are we in it for what we can get or for what we can give? The signs will expose our hearts, reveal our fears, and unleash our faith. There is a word for the mind-set of those who seize divine moments-advance"

Could I get a "3" and a "3"

2008-03-22T21:09:00.002-05:00

It is playoff time and I decided to join in the fun for this time of year. Every year my co-workers have created brackets and score grids that have become the talk of the office. Every year I pass up the opportunity to join. This year something was a little different. For the first time I bought a square on the scoring pool. It just so happens that my numbers are 3 and 3. That means the losers and winners final score needs to end in three. For the past couple of days I have been glued to the glued to constantly checking on the scores. The funny thing is that I don't really look at who is playing or even who won. I just want a 3 and 3!

High School Musical

2008-02-10T21:13:00.000-06:00

I spent the afternoon at the United Center seeing High School Musical on ice. Mikayla is a big fan of the movies and it was fun to see her get so excited to see the characters in person. The United Center was packed with kids who were wearing their t-shirts, hats, microphones and every other gadget you can think of. It was a fun day! Did I ever mention that being an Aunt is one of the best blessings ever?

Blast 2008

2008-02-07T19:53:00.001-06:00

Over the past several weeks, we have been preparing for one of the most incredible weekends ever. Exactly one week from tomorrow, we will be leaving to take over 650 junior high and senior high students up to the Kalahari resort in the Wisconsin Dells. We will fill the weekend with some amazing messages, great small groups, time enjoying the water part, and most importantly some time where students can encounter a relationship with Christ. The theme for this years conference is "Pulse." What does our heartbeat for? What do we care about? We understand that the world in which we live really only cares about itself. But the heart of God beats for the needs of others. God has always had a heart for the poor, forgotten, and even marginalized people of this world. The question is, will our heart look more like the world's or will we learn to align our hearts with the PULSE of God. Please be praying for the students that we take on this incredible weekend, the amazing leaders that are coming with us, and the details that need to take place to make this weekend happen. If you are interested in seeing pictures from last years retreat go to www.student-community.org

It will be great in 2008

2008-01-01T01:47:00.001-06:00

I have heard that phrase said over and over again about the upcoming year. Isn't it funny how there are so many rhymes that people come up with for what they anticipate the new year will hold. Although, 2007 was pretty challenging at times, I feel like there were a lot of things that I have to sit back and be really thankful for. I will give it David Letterman style but I can't do the reverse so you will have to read #1 first.

Taking one step closer to chasing after a dream. This year, I hung up the the softball coaches hat and began a new journey in working in ministry. For so many years, it was just a dream that I was afraid to chase, and this year, I got to begin running after it. Where it will take me, I am not sure.
Family reunion! Pretty pathetic that my #2 on my top ten is the fact the my immediate family actually spent time together. It had been over three years since my oldest brother had been home. It was the first time that my sister-in-laws met one another and for the first time my nieces and nephews were introduced to one another without the computer web cam in between them.
Living with a sister. I sold my first place and decided to move into another one. In the process, was able to begin living with an incredible friend and sister. We have had quite the adventure and have loved being able to host a plethora of events at the new pad.
Community! There have been some pretty amazing friendships that have developed and grown over the past year. People moving in town, and me being able to move down the street from others, I feel like I have been blessed with so many laughs and great times
A trip to Haiti- although being sick made it miserable at times, there is something about experiences like that that change you.
The birth of Julia Ann Benjamin
My first broken bone- 28 years of sports and never a broken bone until a game of co-rec softball.
A crazy thing called a green koosh ball that I carried for 7 days straight
My first real Christmas tree, and drinking the first glass of wine I actually enjoyed
Seeing friends become parents

Although 2007 went by in a blur, I am excited to see what 2008 will have in store. We all make New Year goals and resolutions and I think for me, I am hoping to live a little more on the edge. I have sat back and admired as others have taken big risks in life, even leaps of faith. I tend to be the more practical type of person. I like to play it safe, over analyze almost everything, and make sure in my head things make sense before I do something too crazy. I won't get too out of control, but maybe 2008 is a year to begin risking a little more. What does that mean.........I really haven't got a clue and it kinda scares me to find out.......

Christmas joy?

2007-12-18T20:39:00.000-06:00

Have you ever thought that Christmas is such a weird time of year? On one hand, there is this joy about how amazing and incredible the birth of Jesus is. What Christ sacrificed is nothing small or insignificant. It is an incredibly humbling and life changing event that I could go on and on in expressing my thankfulness. The part that kills me about this season is the hurt that others feel. Over the past month, I have noticed this deep pain that grips at the heart of others as this season unfolds. December is one of the biggest times for heart attacks, suicides, anxiety and depression. Why is that the case? How can a month filled with gatherings, community, expressions of love, and reminders of Christ's gift and sacrifice cause more of those things than any other time of the year. How can the "most wonderful time of the year" be so painful? Is there a solution to fix it?

The conversion

2007-11-15T21:40:00.000-06:00

Over the past 6 months I have been sitting on the fence between the world of PC's verses Mac's. For sometime now, I have been in need of a new computer that will give me some more speed and better capability for mobility and working with pictures. I knew that at some point, I needed to trade my desktop in for a laptop. It has been a grueling month of going back and forth between being able to take the step and make the purchase. After the events of this week, I honestly thought tonight was the night. I drove all the way out to Oakbrook shopping center. As I got out of my car, my heart was so excited about the opportunity that was in front of me. It was happening, I was converting to Mac. As I walked to the store it was almost like a victory lap (music and all). Then it happened.... I walked to the front of the store and here is what it said...

"This store is temporarily closed for renovations until November 16th. Sorry for any inconvenience."

Closed for renovations? Who closes their store for renovations but doesn't allow people to shop? Do they not realize the agony I have gone through in making this decision? I stood at the door and knocked... yet they were closed.

Is this closed door a sign? Do I give Mac another chance?

Proud Aunt!

2007-11-07T22:50:00.000-06:00

Awkward Moment

2007-10-27T22:09:00.000-05:00

So tonight I headed out to Oakbrook Mall. After my experience in the Apple computer store, I stopped in a store that sells my make-up to see if I could find some new lip stuff. A guy walked up to me and asked if he could help. I tried to explain what I was looking for and before I really realized what was happening, he was cleaning off some lipstick had it on a brush and began painting my lips with color. As he (yes, it was a dude) was doing this, I was trying hard to keep a straight face. I wish I had a video camera. If make-up is a guys thing, I guess that is cool. I think it was just more the fact that it took me so off guard. He was so intentional with getting each part of the lip and then to make it more awkward, he used his finger to fix up an area that wasn't the way he liked it. It was really odd...

Sticks out like a sore thumb

2007-10-20T21:29:00.000-05:00

I have gained more appreciation for the saying, "it sticks out like a sore thumb." Do you realize how much you use your thumb each day? Just for kicks, try to do the following without a thumb; tie your shoes, button or unbutton clothing, open a jar, type on the computer, dry your hair, curl your hair, open a prescription bottle, blow your nose... and the list goes on. It has been two weeks since I broke my thumb while playing in a co-rec softball game. I wish that I could tell you I made some great game saving play at the expense of thumb kin. Unfortunately, the truth is that a guy from the other team came sliding into second head first and grabbed my glove rather than the base. It was just one of those freak accidents that doesn't really make sense. I know people mean well but I am getting sick of the children's song, "Where is thumb kin," or the new nickname "thumbs." The one that kills me the most is the number of thumbs up signs I get. To make it worse, most of the time I don't even know the people. The best was the other day I was at a stoplight and a guy on a Harley next to me looked at me smiled, gave me the thumbs up sign and started laughing. Yeah... real funny. I wanted to roll down my window and give him a few words. Instead I smiled and laughed. Oh well, I guess more than anything it is another reminder on how amazing our bodies are. Each small little part plays such big roles.

Birthday girl!

2007-10-01T21:28:00.000-05:00

My beautiful niece-

I can't believe that it was six yours ago that you came into this world. How time flies. I can't imagine this place without you. God has created you into a beautiful and talented young lady. You have such a sweet loving and caring heart. God made you into a special little girl and I am so proud of you.
Happy Birthday Mikayla!
I will love you always,
Aunt Debbie

My view at the Cubs game...

2007-09-22T22:19:00.000-05:00

So this afternoon I was at Wrigley Field and I would like you to see the view that I had to dodge most of the game. First of all, why? Why is this the shirt that he chose to put on this morning. Was he really looking for an answer? Personally, I would like to kick him in the wiener for thinking that shirt was OK to wear. Honestly...

Aside from the ridiculous view, I saw what I like to refer to as home run derby. The cubs put on quite a batting display as they put Pitsburg to shame. To top it all off, the brewers are another game back. Cub fans, this is the year! Keep the W's a rolling.

Co-Rec has begun

2007-09-13T21:33:00.001-05:00

Game Highlights

Nick Plassman struck out 13 batters in slow pitch softball. This is his first season pitching!
Our ladies kinda put on a display in the field and carried the team for a bit! It's always fun when the girls play better than the boys. It doesn't happen very often so it has to be celebrated when it occurs!
Short little muscle man from the other team came up swinging as hard as he could on two different occasions. Not only did he strike out, but he looked like a fool... slow pitch strike outs are the best comic relief!

Our fall season of Co-Rec softball is underway. Our team is starting off the season with a 4-2 record but I am believing that we are going to make it the whole way this year. I think my favorite part about this season is the fact that two of my worlds are coming together. We were looking for players this year and I was able to recruit some friends from school to join us. I feel like there is a lot of times in life that I live in separate worlds and I don't know as that is a good thing. I have church friends, work/school friends, college friends, high school friends but I never really do a lot to bring all the worlds together. Is that right? I am not sure, but I think I need to work a little less at being a good friend and start being a influential friend.

StuCo Kick Off

2007-09-13T15:00:00.000-05:00

On wednesday, we launched our student community for the fall. We have done quite a few changes this semester and with all the change and excitement comes this stomach twisting feeling of nerves. It was awesome! I truly believe that God showed up in huge ways. We had a record number of students for both the junior high and the high school students. The yellow box was transformed into this amazing connecting space and phenomenal worship space. It couldn't have been any better. We have two Nintendo Wii's, a great place for students to buy dinner and snacks, ping pong, basketball, dodgeball, Foosball and then students go into this amazing new auditorium to hear a message and do some singing. This year is going to be awesome! I am pretty blessed to be a part of something this great!

No longer a coach

2007-08-23T19:45:00.000-05:00

It has kinda been a crazy couple of weeks. Over the past year or so, my mind has been going back and forth on this whole idea of getting more involved in youth ministry. I didn't really know what the thoughts were or why I had them but most of the time, I just pushed them back in my head knowing that as a teacher, I had to coach. The reality of being a coach meant that I didn't have time to get more involved in this whole picture of ministry. Over the past three months, I felt like the pressure to move away from coaching was put hard on my heart. There have been some big things that helped me realize the time has come to hang up the coaching hat and open the door to a little different road. I will begin my journey in youth ministry this week and to be honest, I am pretty nervous. It all seems so surreal. I have prayed about it for so long but I never actually thought something would happen.

A bitter sweet week. My past five years of coaching have been absolutely amazing. I have met some amazing young women and have been a part of a great team and program. I have learned a lot from the girls, other coaches and I hope in the process, I was able to plant a seed in their lives as well. It will be tough to watch from the outfield this spring but I know without a doubt that I am following the path that God has asked me to follow.

The greatest feeling

2007-08-19T19:50:00.001-05:00

Today I had one of those moments in life I will treasure forever. There were about twenty people standing outside the church waiting to enter for my nieces baptism. I was surrounded by the grandparents, great-grandparents and others aunts and uncles to my nieces and nephews. When my brother and sister-in-law walked in with the kids, Mikayla and David looked around the room, laid eyes on me and came running into my arms screaming "Aunt Debbie!" There was something about being the one they ran too that was the best feeling in the world. I swept them up into my arms and gave them the biggest hug. I told Mikayla how beautiful she looked and made sure David knew that he looked handsome and was getting so big.
I wonder if God gets that same sense of the chills when we come running back into his arms?

A must see

2007-08-14T22:18:00.000-05:00

So the time has officially come to head back to school. In less than three days, I will say goodbye to the summer days and jump back into the "real world." I was feeling a lack of excitement for the year so I headed over to blockbuster tonight to see what I could find. I came across the movie Pride. After watching it, I must say that that I highly recommend it. I have to admit, I am kinda a sucker for the underdog sports movie. It is a great movie that puts life back into perspective and reminds me why I am heading back to the classroom on Monday. Watch it, let me know what you think.

David is 3

2007-07-31T08:44:00.000-05:00

Sunday afternoon we celebrated David's birthday. He is one happy three year old. I can't believe how time flies. The best part of the celebration was when he was opening his gifts. Did you notice he got the green Koosh? Ironic huh... It was one of his favorite gifts and he spent most of the afternoon taking the ball and flinging it at people and then running away laughing.

The Green Ball

2007-07-23T18:17:00.000-05:00

Crazy... I know. For seven days I carried this crazy thing. Someday I will tell you what this green mess has tought me.

A week in the classroom

2007-07-13T19:36:00.000-05:00

This past week I headed back to school to get certified as a personal trainer. I am not really sure if/how/when I am going to use this but I thought it would be really neat to have. I spent Monday- Friday in the classroom from 8am to 5pm and then spent my evenings studying for the big test. Aside from the book components, we had some physical tests, practical tests and oral tests. It sounds like it is an awful amount of work but it was actually a great week. For some reason, I found myself really excited about what I was learning. Great stuff to take in the classroom, great stuff for my personal life, and maybe even opened a door to a possibility of working with clients some day.

2007-07-08T08:04:00.000-05:00

Go ministries created a video of our week in Haiti. I hope you enjoy it

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tuCH6j3rEFY

The LONG trip home

2007-06-21T20:19:00.000-05:00

After a week of great lessons, I would be lying if I said I wasn't ready to go home. About two days into Haiti, I began feeling awful. I thought for sure it was a combination of the unbearable heat, lack of sleep and the different food but I really wasn't feeling like I wanted to do a whole lot. My stomach was a mess, and I ached all over. I was really struggling with feeling an obligation to keep going. A idea that it would be selfish for me not to push through. Within 48 hours of me going down, the domino effect began. In Haiti, it was just two of us. By the time we reached the Dominican, two others hopped on the bandwagon. By the time we were back in the states there wasn't a whole lot left of our team. We are blessed to have doctors that can give us medication to get us healthy.

A change of heart

2007-06-21T20:07:00.000-05:00

Today my thoughts changed a little on this place. Yesterday I felt like there wasn't a whole lot of hope here. My heart broke for what I saw and I struggled with what people dreamed about here. I focused more on how much they need, what I/we needed to do to help, and imagined how miserable they must be. After playing with the kids for most of the day I am beginning to believe that we in the United States have it wrong. Maybe the simplicity of life here is better. My hunch is that people here know who their neighbors are and probably know everyone on the street. I bet here they don't use the excuse that they are too busy for family or too busy to take time to show love to those around them.

Maybe there is a lesson to be learned from our brothers and sisters here in Haiti. I think the lesson is the same from all the third world countries I visit. I need to step back and let my brothers and sisters remind me about the simple life. Sometimes it is too easy to let the "stuff" distract us from what is most important in life.

The big rain storm

2007-06-20T21:25:00.000-05:00

Our first evening into Haiti ended with a huge rain storm. We took some time in the afternoon to hang out with the children in the orphanage when we began to hear thunder. The director informed us that we needed to run towards shelter on higher ground after we felt the first drop of rain. I thought he was being over protective of us but I soon realized how wrong I was. The rain pounded the earth like nothing I had ever seen. Within 20 minutes, the very roads that we traveled in on became rivers with strong currents. Children ran outside and began playing in the raindrops and danced under water spouts. The adults took time to throw garbage into the moving body of water so that the current of the river would take it down stream. As the waters continued to rise, we watched as it began pouring into peoples homes.

It was almost a difficult thing to watch. On one hand, it was a joy to see the children having so much fun playing in the rain but on the other hand, it was painful to think about the amount of disease that is in the water they were playing in.

Arriving in Haiti

2007-06-20T21:15:00.000-05:00

Here are some thoughts from my journal after the first day crossing into Haiti..

"As I am sitting and writing, I am finishing my first day in Haiti. I don't even know what to write except that this place is awful. I have been blessed to see a lot of places in the world but I have never seen anything like this. God, why do people live like this? Crossing the border from the Dominican to Haiti was a night and day difference. There was not only a distinct change in smell but also a change in everything else. The odor is so strong it almost produces a gag reflex. Children are running around naked and there isn't a piece of ground that doesn't have garbage all over it. In Rwanda there was hope of land that people could grow stuff on, there was an incredibly beautiful scene to look at each day. Here is like I would picture hell. There isn't a way to grow any crops, as you walk along the streets there is feces, garbage and naked children everywhere. Hotter than Haiti is an expression I have a whole new understanding for....

Haiti Recap

2007-06-20T21:04:00.000-05:00

I am going to give you a little recap of my trip to Haiti. I just returned home yesterday and honestly, it is good to be home.

The next couple of entries will be some entries from my journal so that you can see first hand some of the things that were going through my mind.

Getting ready for Haiti

2007-06-05T22:53:00.000-05:00

In exactly seven days, I will be making my way to Haiti. I still can't believe that another year has come to an end and summer is ready to begin. I am not really sure what to expect from this trip but I am excited about the opportunity to serve- even if it is only for a short time. A group of twelve will leave next Tuesday and head to an orphanage in Haiti where we will spend some time doing a variety of things. The part I am the most excited about is being able to play with and love the kids. I have not been to a third world orphanage and I imagine that it will be pretty sad. I just pray that we are allowed to be a beacon of love to these kids. I won't be able to connect to the Internet while I am there but I will be sure to give a play by play complete with pictures when I return! In the meantime, please pray for our team.

Most adorable kids ever

2007-05-28T20:41:00.000-05:00

I don't get to brag about my nieces and nephew enough so I thought I would just take the opportunity to show you just how amazing they are. They are so precious! I am a pretty lucky Aunt if you ask me...

I am an aunt once again!

2007-05-18T22:40:00.000-05:00

Here is the latest addition to the Benjamin family! I am now a proud aunt of two nephews and two nieces! Being an aunt is the greatest ever!

May I recommend a flu shot!

2007-03-16T21:07:00.000-05:00

This past week I learned a huge lesson that will change the way I prepare for the flu season. The flu shots that they often recommend that people ask their doctor about... GET ONE! Looking back on this week, I don't know if I remember a time where I have felt quite that awful. It was miserable and I was basically out of commission for an entire week. Who would have thought that one could actually get diagnosed with the flu. I honestly thought the flu was something that either meant one was throwing up like crazy or they were sick and didn't know what it was so they call it the flu. I never knew there was an actual test that the doctor gives you to determine if you have it.

The crazy thing about getting sick is that it always happens when life is the craziest. Honestly, between selling a house, looking for a house, future career decisions, work and beginning the softball season, getting sick was not something that fit into my day planner. I am just excited to be healthy and super thankful for amazing people that could help me out when I couldn't do it on my own.

Blast 2007

2007-02-24T12:09:00.000-06:00

I was able to spend last weekend up at Kalahari resort in the dells with over 250 amazing high school students. The theme of the weekend was Redemption. It was incredible to have conversation after conversation with students who really made some life changing decisions during the course of this retreat. It was an incredible couple of days! There are some weekends in life where I have to sit back and just thank God for allowing me to be a part of something so phenomenal!

Great times had by all

2007-02-24T12:05:00.000-06:00

Dish soap in Dishwasher is a bad idea....

What is going to come of the new year?

2007-01-15T17:20:00.000-06:00

I don't know whether it is the new year but I feel like there is a lot of change on the horizon. I am not really sure what that is going to look like but I imagine that there may be some big things that will happen soon. Stay tuned...

Snow Day

2006-12-01T11:52:00.000-06:00

The newscasts warned us, everyone was talking about it, but I didn't really believe it would happen. I felt like a little kid again when I woke up. As soon as my alarm went off, I raced to the window to see if it had really snowed. It snowed alright but it didn't look like the 12 inches they promised. I was so bitter. I had gotten myself all excited for a snow day and it looked like nothing. But to my surprise, I got the phone call that school was cancelled! I know come June, I will be annoyed that we have to make it up but that's OK. We were in a four week marathon of full weeks before Christmas break. This day off is welcomed on so many levels.

Christmas in the bathroom

2006-11-26T17:58:00.000-06:00

On Saturday morning, I invited my Aunts who were in from Michigan to come see my home. They have not seen the place since I bought it and I figured since it was decorated for the holiday season, it would be a good time to invite them over.

Now, please understand, I love my Aunts and my mother with all my heart but there are some things Mom and Aunts do that just don't make sense. Aside from my mother opening all my closets and pointing out every nook and cranny of the place, re-arranging the snow village, and changing the flower arrangements in my house, my ultimate favorite event was the bringing Christmas into the bathroom. My Aunt Judy decided that there needed to be a little more Christmas in my downstairs bathroom. I already have the bathroom a dark red color, and there are Christmas hand towels in there but it wasn't enough. Before too much time passed, my Mom and my Aunt had the bathroom decorated to the point that I could almost hear it sing Christmas carols on it's own. The flower arrangement is completely re-done with Christmas flowers and sparkly things, there are snow village figurines on the shelf in the the room, and there are snow covered pine trees on a shelf above the toilet (which don't knock the wall as you are using my toilet because they are in a spot that they will come crashing on your head. They are heavy enough that it will leave quite a welt.)

I am glad my Aunts came into visit and I will admit, my house has an even great festive glee to it but it was rather comical to sit back and watch as the three of them scurried about doing their Aunt and Mom duties. The three of them are so much alike it is almost scary.

A more thankful Thanksgiving

2006-11-23T21:53:00.000-06:00

This thanksgiving had a twist that I wasn't expecting. Giving thanks hit me a little differently than I thought or even planned...

I went over to my parents for Thanksgiving. I had known Grandma Judy was coming so I brought my Africa album with me. Judy was one of the people that had helped sponsor my trip and although we had talked about the trip, I haven't had the opportunity to really show her all the photos. I took some time before and after dinner to sit down with her and basically re-live the journey. Although I keep a few pictures around my house, it had been awhile since I had sat down and looked through all the pictures. As I was sitting there, re-living what life was on the other side of the globe, I couldn't help but sit back and really reflect on how blessed we truly are.

As I enjoyed a thanksgiving feast, looked through piles of "day after thanksgiving" shopping adds, and cleaned fancy china, it made me really think about how wrong we have it. Our society is so fixed on external material blessings that we forget what the true blessings are. We are so blessed to live in an area that is safe. We are blessed to have a roof over our head, a school to attend, access to medical care, food, clean water, soap, and even a toothbrush. Most importantly, we are blessed to not have to go through a genocide where we fear for our lives, or watch love ones be taken or killed.

Most importantly, I am blessed to have had the opportunity to travel to Rwanda, and learn from some amazing brothers and sisters in Christ. We went with a mission to assess, build, learn and serve and I believe that I walked away with lessons that are far greater than anything I could have ever done. A lesson on true forgiveness, community, faith and a heart that has been touched in ways I am just beginning to understand.

Let there be light?

2006-11-16T21:49:00.000-06:00

I decided that I wanted a timer on my front porch light. I didn't like the idea of turning it on and off on my own because there are times that I don't get home until late and the front of my house can be very dark. There are also times when I leave to workout before the sun is up and then I turn off my porch light while it is still dark outside. Sounds like a trivial issue but for me, it is pretty important.

I have one of the worlds greatest fix it guys. He has super reasonable pricing and his company is always enjoyed when he is over. His name is Dad. The two of us have had quite the frustrating adventure trying to get this porch light to actually work. We have now attempted two digital timers, (both worked for a couple of weeks and then ended up dying for some reason or another) a dusk 'till dawn light bulb contraption, and tonight we attempted a different timer that was recommended by the hardware store clerk. All have successfully failed.

So how many blonds does it take to change a light bulb? I am not sure but it has taken my Dad and I over a month to try and fix my porch light...

Some pretty amazing little ones

2006-11-13T18:00:00.000-06:00

David is as cute as ever. He has the greatest personality. I can't beleive how big he is getting.

When Mikayla rides on her scooter or her bike, we refer to her as the pink blurr. She is the quickest one on the block and she is always wearing pink.

Little boy blue isn't so little anymore

2006-11-13T17:59:00.000-06:00

Kyle is finally on the road to recovery and getting better each day. It seems like it has been one thing after another but he looks healthy and happy in this picture. From what I have heard, it takes a lot to keep this little guy down.

An urge to re-locate

2006-11-10T13:30:00.000-06:00

There are phases that I go through where I have this strong urge to move. I think it is one of those times. I am ready to start a new job, live in a different place and have a chance to just start over. It isn't that anything is bad here, it is just the thought of what I might be missing out there... After all, now is the time to do that kind of thing, right?

Slumber party with Aunt Debbie

2006-11-05T13:59:00.000-06:00

This past weekend, I had the greatest moment as an Aunt. I was able to have Mikayla spend the night and spend the night giving her my undivided attention. It started with picking her up and going to get McDonald's, her dinner of choice. While at McDonald's, I got to hear life perspectives from a five year old. It is amazing how smart they are. She talked about gymnastics and her preschool. She told me about her new friends at preschool and then she made a realization that our table was wobbly. To her surprise, every table in McDonald's wobbled except for one. She didn't understand why that was the case. After dinner, we decided that we should take a trip to the video store. I was hoping that we could rent Over the Hedge but she assured me that I would like Barbie and the 12 dancing Princesses so much more than Over the Hedge. In fact, I would like it so much that we should get two Barbie princess movies. Once we got to my house, we painted nails, colored in a coloring books, had a tea party (with apple juice of course), baked cookies, watched princess movies and created an area to go camping in the family room that night. My biggest fear was that she wouldn't make it the whole night and would become homesick. It was a super successful night, no tears were shed and we laughed a lot. Mikayla's thoughts on the sleepover were priceless, "Aunt Debbie, I was thinking and next time I should stay for five weeks."

Was it unanswered?

2006-11-03T18:11:00.000-06:00

I came across a news article today about a guy who found a bag full of letters that were addressed to God. The letters were sent to a Reverend at a church with the intent that they would be prayed over. Some were on the humorous side and others on the serious side. It was almost as if the author was putting down the Reverend for not reading the letters. As a result of not reading the letters, the author implied that they were not prayed over. Here is my question, did the Reverend really have to open and read the letters in order to pray over them? Could he have held each letter and prayed for whatever was in it and still kept the confidentiality of each letter? God would know what was in the letter even though the Reverend didn't open it, right? What made me the most angry was the last line of the article that announced the individual was going to place these letters for sale on EBay. Seriously, doesn't he have access to a paper shredder? Can't he just take the letters and destroy them? Why would anyone be so hungry for money? Check out the article for yourself, what do you think?

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061102/ap_on_re_us/unanswered_prayers

A horrible day for a CUBS fan

2006-10-28T13:56:00.000-05:00

So, if it wasn't bad enough that the White Sox clinched the title last year, it only got worse last night. The most horrible nightmare came true last night as the Cardinals claimed the title as World Champs. I am not sure if it could be any worse. After a year of Sox fans claiming they are champs, the pattern will now continue with the Cardinal fans. I love my friends that are Cardinal fans but they are not quiet about their love for their Cards... It will be a painful year....

Surely next year will be our year right?

Maybe we are like the trees

2006-10-21T16:49:00.000-05:00

I have to admit, there is no better time of the year. I don't really know what it is about fall but there is something about it that just puts me in a good mood. I love when the weather begins to get a little on the chilly side and the leaves begin to change color. I love to have campfires, seeing pumpkins, and fall colors.

Aside from just the season being great, I feel like this has been a season of growth in my own life. I feel like there are so many different things that I am learning and changing about who I am. It feels good to walk through a season of life and begin to celebrate the journey that God has brought you on. Just as the fall leaves are changing, I believe God does the same with our hearts. I wonder if while I look at the trees and admire their beauty during the fall, God looks at our hearts and sees something similar?

Hard to be far away

2006-10-12T22:15:00.000-05:00

I am realizing tonight how it is hard to be far away from the ones you love. My little nephew, Kyle, is struggling to get healthy and I wish more than anything I could be with him. It is hard to sit back and realize that the only thing we can do is pray a ton and wait for the next update. I would give anything to bring blue bunny to the hospital and make this little bundle of joy let out his giggle. You will be home before you know it Kyle but until then Aunt Debbie will be praying.

2006-10-05T21:18:00.000-05:00

Well, it is my official last day in my mid-twenties. I will now move up an age category and join the late twenties group. I am not doing well with the change. Before my very eyes, I am growing up and yet there is still so much of me that feels like I am still a little kid.
Over the past couple of months, I feel like I have been on a journey like never before. I am trying to discover this woman that God has created me to be. It is a journey that has me praying about careers, praying about future plans, praying about thoughts, feelings and emotions and a journey that has me trying desperately to figure out the grand purpose of it all.
As horrible as 27 sounds, I believe it is going to be a good year. A year of new beginnings, and new discoveries. Bring it…

Oh dear

2006-09-01T15:36:00.000-05:00

So, this morning I woke up and realized I am pretty pathetic. I am 26 years old and I am still frustrated and crabby when my slow pitch co-rec team looses a game. How pathetic is that? We are in a park district league with a bunch of friends and we are out there to just have fun. Not only is the team filled with super fun people but we usually have the biggest fan base of any team out there. It is a Thursday night that is filled with good times. Yet, as I went to bed this Thursday I was bitter. In my mind I thought of all the things I wished we had covered in practice, and the foolish pitch that I swung at because I didn't want to walk (instead I hit a crappy ball up the middle that the shortstop was able to turn a double play), and the silly little things that in the grand scheme of life don't matter. What is my obsession with this silly game and why do I care so much about winning? Any who, Scared Hitless lived up to their team name and let two slide by. I am sure this week we will all find ourselves at the batting cages and get our bats in line for our next Thursday night's match up.

Put me in Coach

2006-08-30T16:47:00.000-05:00

The season is officially beginning tomorrow. This is the most important time of the year- a preview to the world series. Our co-rec softball team officially opens up tomorrow evening for an 8:15 double header. Since we are now seasoned players in this league, we decided that our team name must change. Our new official name is "SCARED HITLESS." If you just gasped a little, it is ok, I had the same first reaction. I am not really sure at the reasoning behind the name except that it is funny- especially when you realize it is a bunch of church folk that will be on the field with that name. Let's just hope that our name doesn't determine the success of our bats this season. I am sure that the blogs to follow will update you on the success of the team.
Last year we entered this league and we said several times to one another that we are out to have fun. We "didn't care about winning or loosing," it was just about having a good time. When we got into our fist game and we realized that we were a fairly good and competitive team, the entire atmosphere of the game changed. All the competitiveness of our players began to come out and we were in it for the win. For a great time on Thursday nights, come watch scared hitless take the field.

Summer Days Drifting Away!

2006-08-24T16:56:00.000-05:00

Well I am officially back to the old routine. My summer is done. It was brutal to wake up this morning as the alarm clock screamed in my ear at 5 am. For some reason or another, this has been the most difficult year to head back. I know that once the students come and I adjust to the teaching lifestyle I will be fine but this summer has been so nice. I was truly blessed with some incredible opportunities. Here are just a few highlights of the summer.

North Carolina

2006-08-24T16:40:00.000-05:00

A wonderful trip to North Carolina.

We spent a night hunting crabs.

Africa

2006-08-24T16:39:00.000-05:00

An amazing and life changing trip to Africa!